


If Stella was Sirius

by queer_fully



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Eventual Relationships, F/M, M/M, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, Stella is Sirius, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Sirius Black, more tags tba
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queer_fully/pseuds/queer_fully
Summary: Sirius Black wasn't always Sirius, but in fact Stella, a first year with no idea of what was to come in the next seven years.(This fic follows The Marauders in modern times during their years at Hogwarts)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I'm starting another fic, when will I finish anything?  
> But really, I had to get this idea down I thought it would be pretty cool  
> If some of this doesn't make sense or have typos, forgive me but it's late and I really wanted to upload

**_September 1, 2010_ **

**_King's Cross Station, London_ **

**_—_ **

“Come on, Stella. No need to meddle around the muggles.  _ Filthy things, really _ .”

 

Walburga Black dragged along her eleven year old daughter through The droves of non magic users, barely sparing a glance at them. Stella simply rolled her eyes, her mother pulling her through the pillar between platforms 9 and 10 straight into platform 9 ¾. She could care less, but to the rest of the Blacks, associating with anyone other than a pureblood was some sort of crime. They definitely didn't seemed as esteemed as she and her mother were, so Stella kept her head up, avoiding eye contact with anyone else her age. Her mother definitely seemed to approve, nodding in the girl's direction as a house elf lifted her things onto the train.

 

“Now listen to me, Stella.” Walburga began, looking down at her daughter. “It is your responsibility, your duty to be sorted into Slytherin house. We will not accept anything less, not when you're a daughter of the most noble and ancient house of Black, one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Make your family proud.”

 

Stella nodded curtly and her mother touched a hand to her cheek. It should've been a loving gesture, but all Stella felt was cold and a shiver down her spine. She wouldn't disappoint her mother or the rest of her family, and with a motherly pat on her back, she said her goodbyes and boarded the train. She tried to find an empty cabin, most already filled with students chatting amongst themselves, some completely filled to the brim with returning students catching up with her friends. Stella didn’t need any of that though, rolling her eyes and finally finding a cabin that was empty, way on the back of the train car. Hopefully she’d be left alone.

 

Her hopes were soon shattered when some pudgy first year nervously stepped into the cabin. He looked like he didn’t belong there, probably muggleborn judging from his clothes, staring at the floor like he was about to have a panic attack. Stella sighed but looked out the window as the final students piled into the train.

 

“S-sorry miss, but- but the other cabins are full. Do you mind if I sit here with you?” The muggleborn boy asked of Stella, who sighed and turned her head to look at the muggleborn.

 

“Miss?” She couldn’t help but scoff at the name, since no one ever called her that, especially at her age.

 

“I-I, uh. Well…” The boy stuttered, Stella sighed again.

 

“Whatever, just keep quiet. I don’t feel like talking.” She interrupted, looking back out the window. Just a few hours to go, and she’d be sorted into Slytherin and wouldn’t have to deal with such insufferable idiots.

 

However, as soon as the train began moving, two other boys piled in and Stella was less than pleased. All she wanted was to be alone so she didn’t have to talk to filth like the muggle born and what seemed like two mudbloods, one with dark, unruly hair and glasses, and the other in secondhand clothes, sandy hair and a scar on his jawline. All three boys had their introductions but Stella didn’t bother with listening, turning her body away from the group.

 

“Oi, you! You even listening?” Stella felt a nudge and turned to see glasses boy poking her shoulder. Guess there was no winning in a cabin full of people.

 

“What? I’m not here to talk to you. In fact, I was here first” She replied harshly, glaring at the boy as he dropped his hand, backing away onto the other side of the bench.

 

“Well sorry, we just didn’t want to exclude you.” He mumbled, turning back to the other two boys to continue the conversation.

 

Stella stared back out the window and watching as the London scenery soon melded into spans of fields and forest. She’d hardly been outside of the city or away from her mother’s side, so seeing so much of it all at once without her parents or even her little brother Regulus by her side was a bit harrowing. She didn’t even know anything aside from what Slytherin house was like, but she still had the fear of being sorted into a different house. Maybe they’d decide she would be better suited for a lesser house and her parents would disown her.

 

She stood up then, effectively interrupting the conversation the boys were having, brushing her unruly hair from her face as she pulled her uniform from her trunk and walked past them. Stella barely got a chance to open the sliding door when she felt a tug on the sleeve of her black robes. Looking down she could see the same messy haired, spectacled boy from before staring back up at her.

 

“Where are you going then? The conversation’s just getting good!” He reasoned and Stella jerked her arm away from his grip.

 

“I need some air, mudbloods stinking up the cabin.” She spat before stepping out into the hall, slamming the door shut.

 

The last thing she heard was “She’s bloody mental” before she left, turning down the hall and to the nearest lavatory so she could change. Luckily, there was an empty one nearby and she locked the door behind her, staring at her reflection in the tiny mirror hung above the sink.

 

She never liked looking at herself, a sickening feeling rising up in her chest every time she did, like that wasn’t really her in the reflection. The raven haired girl closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before turning to face the wall. This wasn’t the time to think about such nonsense, as her mother would tell her, followed by a disapproving look. Stella’s chest tightened, but she elected to ignore it as she changed out of her black dress, robes and stockings and into the uniform that was bought for her in Diagon Alley.

 

After a quick once-over, the girl reached to grab her wand from her robes’ pockets, only to see that it wasn’t there. She panicked, searching the tiny lavatory for where it could’ve been, but there were only so many places her wand could be hiding. Stella’s heart sank and her stomach turned. It wasn’t even the first day of school yet and she’d already lost her wand. She could already imagine her parents scolding her severely, the notion making her stomach turn worse as her vision blurred.

 

Before she knew it, she was crouched in front of the toilet, puking out the contents of her breakfast. She felt light headed and too warm for comfort, taking a moment to let her stomach settle as the toilet magically flushed on its own. Stella got up then, rinsing her mouth from the bile and grabbing her belongings before rushing out, nearly knocking a third year off her feet. Her mind was racing as se searched for any traces of where her wand could be, hoping nobody picked it up if it was out in the hall.

 

But with no traces of her want in the hall, Stella defeatedly made her way back to the cabin full of boys she’d left behind. They seemed to become fast friends, although the blond boy seemed to be holding something familiar. She took a closer look before stepping inside, realizing that he was, in fact,  _ holding her wand! _ Her presence caused the cabin mates to look up, but Stella passed them, stopping to face the boy before prying her wand from his grip.

 

“Have you no respect,  _ Mudblood? _ ” She spat, wiping the handle of her wand with a corner of her robe. “Haven’t you been taught to touch what isn’t yours?”

 

Stella sat back down in her spot on the bench, smoothing down her skirt as glasses and blond boy burst out laughing. The pudgy boy followed suit soon after, but clearly nervous around Stella’s presence. She shot a glare at all three of them, but the boys only roared with laughter, causing her expression to falter. Stella fumed, gripping her wand harder as her shoulders shook.

 

“How  _ dare _ you laugh at me! I am a daughter of the noble and most ancient house of Black and you will  _ respect me! _ ” The cabin went uncomfortably silent after Stella’s outburst, the three boys nervously looking at each other.

 

That was, until the messy haired glasses boy grinned, throwing an arm around Stella’s shoulders. She tensed, just about ready to shove him away.

 

“My mum’s a Black! Dorea Black! We’re cousins, mate!” The boy’s words stopped Stella in her tracks as she turned to look at him.

 

“More like distant relatives.” Stella muttered, pushing away from the boy as he frowned.

 

“Yeah well, no need to have your wand up your arse about it.” He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Stella glared at him for the statement before jumping to her feet and grabbing the boy, punching him in the face with a  _ crack _ . One thing led to another and with the boy yelling he wasn’t afraid to hit a girl, Stella was punched straight back in her jaw, the both of them duelling it out on the cabin floor. Stella pulled her wand then, seeing the fear in the boy’s eyes and hesitating. He started laughing then and she dropped her hand, staring at the boy in confusion. Why was he laughing when she was about to hex him?

 

“You- you don’t know any spells yet, do you?” Glasses boy laughed, and Stella gaped at him, sitting down next to him, her back nudging blond boy’s leg.

 

“I do!” She protested, holding her wand close to her chest. Her father had given her lessons before school started, not wanting her to be as clueless as the rest of her classmates.

 

“Well, let’s see it, then.” The boy responded, adjusting his glasses, which Stella had broken in the fight.

 

She blinked before sitting up, waving her wand in the boy’s face to fix his glasses. “ _ Repairo. _ ” Stella carefully pronounced the spell, watching as the frame straightened out on the boy’s face. They all watched with interest, the raven haired girl shrugging off the attention as she brushed the curls from her face.

 

“Brilliant.” The boy smiled, getting up before helping Stella to her feet.

 

The both of them were sporting bloody noses and significant bruising, but Stella seemed to cool off after the ordeal, actually smiling at the boy, much to the shock of the entire cabin. After piles of tissues offered from blond boy, who introduced himself as Remus, Stella finally got the bleeding in her nose to stop. Apparently she’d broken glasses boy’s, James, nose and he had to have the trolley lady fix it for him. She did so silently, but not without sparing a glance towards Stella, as if she knew she was the one responsible.

 

Pudgy boy, Peter, ordered treats for all four of them, but Stella rejected his offer, claiming she hated sweets, especially chocolate. All three of the boys suddenly stared at Stella like she was some alien creature, silent until James grabbed her shoulders through his shock.

 

“How, Can you. Not. Like. Chocolate?!” He demanded, Stella leaning away from the spectacled boy in fear of getting hurt again.

 

“I don’t know, the concept is disgusting and I don’t like sweet things.” She tried to justify, but James just wouldn’t back down.

 

That was, until Remus stepped in in Stella’s defense. She thanked him, staying in her corner of the bench though, as not wanting to experience the wrath of James again. The boys silently ate their candy as Stella stared back out the window. She’d be away from them all soon and in her rightful place in Slytherin. That was the only thought that kept her hopeful the entire trip there.

 

The boys soon got up to change into their own uniforms and Stella watched as Peter pulled something small and rectangular from his pocket. He claimed needing to call his mum to reassure her that he was fine on the train. Stella couldn’t help but stare at him with that statement.

 

“Call? There’s not a floo system on the train?” Stella stopped herself then, realizing Peter was a muggleborn. “Wait, what do muggles used for communication?” She asked, watching as Peter nervously shrank under her gaze.

 

“U-uh, well…” Peter stuttered, holding the rectangular object close to his chest, which Stella just now realized said ‘Nokia’. “I used ot to talk to people, mostly my parents.”

 

Stella nodded before laughing. “Good luck using those bloody muggle inventions in Hogwarts, mate.”

 

James and Remus both stared at Stella, as if to reprimand her, Peter looking more uncomfortable by the second before excusing himself to make the call. Stella watched as he left, fiddling with the rectangle before walking off as he pressed it to his ear. He came back soon, looking like he wanted to start another conversation, but James and Remus didn’t want to open their mouths around Stella.

 

The rest of the ride to Hogwarts was uncomfortable between the boys and Stella, as they slipped into awkward, uncomfortable silence. She went back to stating out the window, the Scottish countryside passing them by, wishing she could leave and see her cousins as quickly as possible. Her first mission was to be alone, but now she felt ignored and she couldn’t stand the feeling that rose up in her chest.

 

Soon enough though, the train was slowing to as stop as it pulled up to the station and Stella couldn’t be more happy to leave the train. She hopped up to her feet, leaving the cabin as the boys trailed out after her. House elves came by to unload their trunks and Stella half expected them to spit comments about the mudbloods like her family’s house elf Kreacher did, but they simply greeted the students to Hogwarts and unloaded their trunks.

 

The first years were directed by the school’s gamekeeper, a half-giant who called himself Rubeus Hagrid. Stella tried not to laugh at the man’s appearance, but she couldn’t help but wonder why the school even had someone like  _ him  _ working on the grounds. Many of the students didn’t mind, but they were mudbloods who didn’t know any better, after all.

 

They boarded boats to be led across the Great Lake then, two students per boat. Stella had the pleasure to be seated with another girl, who practically talked her ear off about how excited she was for school and how she hoped she’d be sorted into Gryffindor, like the rest of her family. She could only scoff at the idea, but couldn’t help but wonder again, what if she  _ was _ sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin? Or even worse, would she be considered an inept  _ Hufflepuff _ ? Her family would surely disown her then, burn her face from the tapestry and leave her to be eaten by the stray dogs of muggle London.

 

Stella’s stomach turned at the idea, her ears ringing as her vision blurred. She had to get sorted into the right house, she just  _ had to _ . She nearly spewed the contents of her stomach right over the edge of the boat, but soon enough they were docked, the raven haired girl boarding off as quickly as she possibly could.

 

They all lined up then as the same half-giant Hagrid led them into the castle, all of them in awe of the size of the place. Even through her anxiety, Stella still looked around, amazed at the sight of high ceilings, detailed moldings, and accents. They stopped right outside the Great Hall then, Hagrid excusing himself before a professor entered, looking over all of the first year students, Stella’s anxiety suddenly increasing tenfold.

 

She swore she was about to pass out, her ears still ringing. The professor was talking then, explaining how the sorting would go, but none of the words reached Stella’s ears. They were moving forward then and she nearly stumbled over her feet before she realized she needed to be moving with the rest of the first years.

 

The Great Hall was even more impressive than Stella ever anticipated, looking around to see floating candles everywhere with the night sky just above. She didn’t have time to ponder it any longer though, stopping at the tables where all the professors sat. A stool with what looked like an old leather wizard’s hat sitting on top of it was placed in front of the tables then, and Stella swore her stomach was doing backflips and her knees went weak. The other first years excitedly chatted amongst each other, but some looked just as nervous as she did.

 

The professor from before came up to speak then, announcing that she’ll be calling names out in alphabetical order from their last names. Stella’s stomach turned horribly then, hping there were students with ‘A’ last names before her. Luckily, her name wasn’t the first to be called, but the girl who was didn’t look half as excited to go as she did moments before.

 

As names were being called, Stella could see that everyone was relieved after the initial tension, happy with the houses they were sorted into. With how they reacted, the tension in Stella’s guts seemed to ease, then her name was called and her anxiety was back tenfold. Before she knew it, her legs were carrying her towards the stool, perching on the seat as her heart pounded in her chest. And as the sorting hat was placed atop her head, a voice suddenly boomed in her ears and her mind blanked.

 

_ Ah, yes, we get one of these every year. Familial expectations hanging over your head Miss Black? Yes… your family is quite well known here: purity over all, holding strong to their beliefs, Slytherins at heart. But you… you’d be wasted in Slytherin. They’re much too rigid and brittle for your lion heart. Ah, I’m sure you’ll be disappointed in my decision, but I believe this is the house you belong in… _

 

“Gryffindor!” The hat bellowed and Stella was sure she was about to fall out of her chair.

 

Students cheered for her, but she could already see her relatives glaring as she made her way to sit at the end of the house table. She felt numb, her worst nightmare had just come to life. Her family would kick her out for sure, remove her from the family. She’d be considered worse than scum, worse than a mudblood.

 

The sorting continued, along with a speech from the headmaster, and Stella couldn’t keep her eyes off her plate until it was suddenly filled with food, causing her to jump and get dragged back to reality. Looking around, she could see James, Remus, and Peter sitting near her, all three looking happy with their placement in the house. She was sure she’d start crying about her surroundings, but she sucked it up. She’d write a letter to her parents and ask the headmaster if she could be resorted; that was the only solution to keep her parents proud.

 

In the meantime, she decided she’d might as well eat, since she hadn’t had anything since the morning before they left for the station. She dug into her food, somewhat listening to James, Remus, and Peter having some conversation, but she didn’t bother to pay attention to what.

 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to be sorted into the same house as my father.” James stated proudly, patting his chest as if he’d just done something admirable.

 

“My father was a Hufflepuff, actually. But I’m sure he’ll be glad to see I’m sorted here.” Remus responded as he dug into his food, but not without a square of chocolate beforehand.

 

“W-well, my parents aren’t magical, so I’m not sure what they’ll think.” Peter chimed in, still nervous about social interaction between him and the other two boys.

 

Stella turned them out after that, digging into some potatoes until she felt a nudge on her shoulder. She sighed, looking up to see Remus poking her, James grinning from ear to ear as he watched her.

 

“Not happy about where you were sorted, then?” James asked first as Stella gripped her fork.

 

“I should be in Slytherin.” She muttered, glaring at the messy haired boy.

 

“And why is that?” Remus responded, leaning on the table as he looked at Stella.

 

The raven haired girl scoffed. “I’m a Black. We belong in Slytherin House and the sorting hat was wrong. He said I had a lion heart.” She mumbled the last part, crossing her arms over her chest. She never thought of herself as brave in any sense of the term.

 

James began to laugh then, shoving some chicken into his mouth. “The sorting hat is never wrong! It will always sort you right!” He practically yelled, a ginger girl a few students down rolling her eyes at him.

 

Stella could only stare at James as he excitedly waved his arms around, ranting about how the sorting hat had been used since the founding of Hogwarts and never had it regretted where it sorted a student. The rant effectively interrupted the meals of those around him and Stella simply ignored him, finishing off what was on her plate.

 

Remus had managed to calm James down, but Stella was ignoring them and as soon as their meals were over, the prefects were calling the first years to be taken to their houses. Stella stood, walking past the three boys as the rest of the Gryffindor first years followed.

 

They were all led out of the Great Hall then and to the tower, getting a short tour of castle before finally stopping at a huge painting of a fat lady which guarded Gryffindor tower. She appeared to be singing horribly as the Head Boy and Girl explained over her how the passwords changed every week and they’d be informed of the changes on the bulletin in the common room. They then were told to never let in any students from other houses into the towers, or else there would be consequences.

 

The Head Boy then turned to the painting and stated the password, interrupting the Fat Lady’s singing as the frame swung aside to reveal a rounded doorway into the common room. Stepping inside, Stella noticed instantly how warm and inviting the area looked, much unlike Grimmauld Place, where she lived with her family. It didn’t seem so bad and after the trip, the raven haired girl was tempted to collapse onto one of the plush couches. But she needed to stay up for her room assignments, the Head Girl leading her and the other first year girls to their dorms.

 

She waited to be assigned, looking around to see all the other girls happily making friends and Stella could only hope they’d just ignore her so she didn’t have to interact with anymore ridiculous Gryffindors. They were soon given their placements in the rooms at the top of the tower, Stella following three other girls she didn’t bother to learn the names of, even though she’d been lumped with them.

 

As soon as they were in their room, the girls tried to start conversation with the raven haired girl, but she just glared at them, unable to keep the sick feeling from rising up in her stomach. She really wanted to cry then and there, not only because she’d been sorted wrong, but also because she didn’t feel right in that room surrounded by other girls.

 

She wasn’t like those other three girls, she didn’t feel like she fit there. Even though everything about her screamed that she should belong there, there was a part of Stella that resisted that, making her skin crawl, making her want to jump out of her body and fins a better, more comfortable vessel. But she was stuck and had to accept it, going to where her trunk was placed and pulling out a nightgown.

 

“I’m going to bed early, so please be quiet.” Stella stated before walking off to the dorm bathroom so she could wash up and change. The girls stared at her like she’d just sprouted a mandrake on her shoulder, but she could only brush it off, shutting the door and changing into her gown, avoiding the mirror as much as she could.

 

After folding her uniform neatly and brushing her teeth, Stella stepped out, looking to see the three girls chatting in another corner of the room. She sighed, placing her uniform on top of her trunk before climbing into bed. Luckily, she discovered the curtains were charmed to be sound-proof, so she didn’t need to ask the girls to shut up.

 

Sleep didn’t come easy for Stella though, laying awake in the dark of her new bed. She still worried about what the response of her parents and if she’ll even be able to be resorted. Eventually though, her thoughts lulled enough for her to be dragged into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
